As the school year comes to a close the time for reflection is upon me. A year unlike any other. A world that is changing by the second, a nation in turmoil…all of these things had an effect on the 30 tiny eight year olds I had placed in my hands. They, as their parents, weren’t sure who to turn to for answers, where to find help, and most of all someone to reassure them that everything would be alright. That unexpected role, in part, felt on me for the past 3 months. Was I ready? Heck no! I was processing the events just as much as they were! I was trying to calm myself! But as a teacher, what they forget to teach you in any college course is that even when everything is spinning around you, you have to get the kids feet set. They trust us to keep them safe, to teach them how to handle life, to know everything will be ok…with a trust so pure that you can hear the heart breaking when you can’t fulfill that role.

And so, for the past 3 months we pushed on. Difficult homes lives became more stark and apparent. Academic struggles seemed insurmountable barriers through the computer. But our relationships. My relationships with these kids, their families… grew stronger than ever. They knew I was there to help in any way possible. And in the end, the kids and their families taught me just as much as I hope I reassured them. Resilience. Creativity. Quirkiness. Hope.

In the mornings, pajamas on, hair sticking up, drool smeared across their faces, sitting in their closets for some quiet space (I kid you not!) they showed up! “Hi teacher!” with a huge grin on their face and notebook and paper in their hand. I saw parts of their personalities I might not otherwise get to see. Excited they could show me their “apartment” and their stuffed animals, along with their real animals and the gaming they do. I may have even turned down a few invites to battle it out on Call of Duty (haha). I talked with some parents more over video chat than I would have seen them during a normal school year and they felt more open to express their worries with me knowing I was living through the same thing. They also could attend the classes I was teaching! This was HUGE!! They felt more confident with the role I was asking them to take over for me in their homes.

I’m not saying distance learning was fair, for my low income families it was far from it. But in a time when things seem even more discouraging than normal, the kids showed me reasons to smile, to laugh, to be ok just being ok. And to be happy just seeing each other. We each looked forward to our classes equally. This year was unlike any other, and although academically the gains were nowhere near as much, I think the resiliency the kids are learning now will be just as great of an asset to them for their futures.