I’ve never been one to believe in the idea of soulmates. The thought that ONE person in the world is meant for me when there are billions of people in the world seems rather absurd. Especially when considering all the different people in one’s life. Certain people make me laugh more than others, certain people I connect with more on an intellectual level, and others we might just like the same sports teams. But recently I’ve gotten more interested in the subject. Maybe because of the way people react when I tell them I don’t believe in it. More often than not, people get taken aback and proceed to give me the “you just haven’t come across it yet” and “don’t worry, your fairy tale is coming” reactions. Why is that so many more people seem to cling to this idea, rather than not? Is my thinking off? And why do so many people believe it’s a “fairy tale?”

I’m a believer both in faith and in fact. For this reason, I delved into the concept of soulmates as it has changed over time. If you look at the literal definition of a soulmate it is said to be a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. Affinity, not a word used often…so let’s break this down even more. Affinity can mean anything from a fondness, to a rapport, to a weakness. So a soulmate is someone who I have a deep weakness for? I can guarantee you most likely have never heard that definition before. 

Soulmates have been theorized over for centuries. Plato talked about how it’s literally our other half that’s been split from us. Religions have used it to project an idea more closely connected with a person’s relationship with God. Shoot, even the show the Bachelor/Bachelorette projects the idea of finding soulmates or “the one true love.” Type it into google. You’ll see titles pop such as “Experts Define Soulmates”…what experts? Did they get this definition from some all knowing power?

The concept of soulmates seems tricky and hard to pinpoint. Over hundreds of years, across different cultures, the definition is malleable at best. The more I delved into this concept the more it reaffirmed certain things for me. 1) There is no exact definition for soulmates. It’s based on a person’s belief of certain things that they need. Possibly a continuum, where certain people play more of a soulmate role in your life than others. 2) No one is neither right nor wrong for believing in them. We have certain things we hold on to or choose to discard. And probably the most important of them all 3) the concept of soulmates is something that should be reexamined at different points in one’s life. You aren’t the same person as you were 5, 10, 20 years ago. This means that certain things you needed in the past you may not need anymore…but also, something I may lack now isn’tsomething that I can’t acquire. 

A soulmate…in my most humble and unknowing opinion…is someone who can connect with me and however I change, or they do, that connection never ends. It doesn’t mean that we aren’t flawed, or that we always agree, or that you don’t have to try, or even that its just romantic connections. I believe every type of relationship in ones life can also be soulmates. Soulmates though, make it through. Those connections can’t be fake or duplicated. Some connections are once in a lifetime.

Change the word to whatever you want. 

Make your own definition.

And hold on to the people worth holding on to.