I’m sitting here watching you sleep attached to a machine that’s pumping some serious chemicals into your body. You’ve had insomnia for months now, with everything going on why wouldn’t you? I have a hint of a smile under my mask, because at least when you’re asleep you’re taking a break. It’s been a long 5 months since the whole “cancer” situation started and we aren’t even quite halfway done yet.

I’ve been asking myself this question lately. 

Who has to be stronger? Those who are attached to sickness or those that must watch the people they love suffer?

This journey so far hasn’t been anything I could have ever known. The appointments, the blood draws, the mental game, the diet, the nosebleeds, the 2am phone calls,the  skin discoloration, all the medicines…all the medicines…ALL THE MEDICINES!

It’s absolutely overwhelming. But not the overwhelming that paralyzes you, no. You can’t afford a second wasted right now. Feels more like the overwhelming that makes your aura dim down in brightness, when you’re running full power for too long. 

And yet despite it feeling that way, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your aura shine brighter. Enjoying the simple things. Understanding your emotions. And I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to work harder for anything in my life. To fight for you.

So the questions shifts for me.

Not to who is stronger, but WHAT makes us stronger?

Because we’ll keep finding more of that. Today was cycle 5. It was a hard day. We both didn’t want to be here. But a beautiful piece to this absolutely shitty puzzle is that your body may be weak…but you, you are strong. ♥️